How to Overcome a Confidence Crisis:
11 Confidence-Boosting Techniques

No matter how much you earn, how fast you find yourself on the right track, or how often people compliment and congratulate you, your work, or your life, you can still have a confidence crisis. Even people with high self-esteem and self-confidence can suffer from a confidence crash. Sometimes things happen that knock the confidence right out of us.

A confidence crisis can be caused by a big life transition such as getting a new job, moving to a new city, starting a new business, or starting a new relationship. Serious losses will surely cause you to lose confidence … the loss of a relationship, the loss of a job, the loss of a big client, or the loss of a dream we come to realize will never happen.

At times, our confidence is already shaky as a result of a transition or loss, and a single incident like having a disappointing conversation, missing a deadline, getting a bad haircut, or spilling coffee on a document can trigger a confidence crisis.

When you crash, it is usually because your daily diet of life has not included enough confidence-boosting “foods.” Confidence is like Vitamin C. You need it in your diet. Your body can only store it for a short time before it needs some more. You have to take responsibility for planning your “confidence meals” and making sure you have large enough portions to sustain you.

When a confidence crisis hits you, don’t despair. Instead, start to use some of the following 11 confidence-boosting techniques. Begin with at least two, and then add a third and a fourth. You will gain a lot more than confidence – you will learn to love, honor and appreciate yourself more and more.

1)  Make a List of Your Strengths and Accomplishments
When your confidence is low, it’s time to remember all the strengths you have and the accomplishments you’ve achieved in your life. Make a list of what you’re good at, and what other people have told you they appreciate about you. Look at your resume to see all that you’ve accomplished in your career. Make a list of personal challenges you’ve overcome in your life, and how you were able to do it. These exercises will remind you that you’re a precious soul with lots of contributions you can make in the world.

2)  Notice your Inner Critic
A loss of confidence is usually accompanied by a very loud Inner Critic. What is your Inner Critic saying? That you’re not good enough, not smart enough, not creative enough, not witty enough, not attractive enough, or that you’re a fraud? Know that your Inner Critic is a self-protective mechanism in your brain that exists to warn you against potential threats. Notice the message it’s giving you, but know that you don’t need to heed its warnings.

3)  Keep a Journal
Keeping a journal is a great way to process and clarify your feelings. Forcing yourself to write everyday also forces you to take time for daily reflection. Daily reflection can help you solidify what you know, what you have learned, and what you still need to pay attention to.

4)  Show Gratitude
Practice gratitude – be thankful for what you already have and put your attention on all the blessings you already possess. Keep a gratitude section in your journal. Everyday write down five things you are thankful for. This will help you feel richer and stronger in character and that translates into confidence.

5)  Use Affirmations
Affirmations work. Write a list of statements that say what you want and how you want to be in life such as, “I get more confident every day,” “New clients come to me easily,” or “I get more and more fit every day.” State all affirmations in the present tense. Some people stand in front of a mirror and say them. I also encourage you to record them and play the recording over and over. Read your affirmations at least once a day.

6)  Evaluate Your Relationships
Assess the relationships in your life. Do they support you or sabotage you? All relationships change with time; some get better, some get worse. If you have relationships in your life that are more of a burden then a joy, it may be time to sever your ties – or at least loosen the reins.

7)  Start New Relationships
Identify people who have the qualities you admire – people you feel you could learn from and who could learn from you as well. Look for people you can have fun with. Boosting your confidence can be really fun, if you want it to be.

8)  Join a Group
This may be time for a traditional support group. Chatting over a cup of carrot juice with your pals might be a remedy. Organize your own group of confidence boosters and support each other in making changes.

9)  Change Your Daily Routine
What activities tend to boost your confidence, and what activities tend to bring it down? Exercise, getting enough sleep, speaking your mind, and dressing well are activities that tend to boost confidence.

10)  Speak Up
When we withhold communication because we are afraid of how we will be received, we chip away another bit of our confidence. Share your thoughts, opinions, and preferences. Speak up in all situations. The insignificant situations will be practice for the important occasions that are sure to follow.

11)  Take a Risk A Day
A risk is something you would do in an instant if you knew you would be successful. It is the fact that you do not know how it will turn out that makes it a risk. The best way to bolster your confidence is to start doing things you are afraid to do. Make a list of things that are risky for you and start to do them one by one.

Sometimes it takes a few days to boost your confidence. Sometimes it takes a few weeks. Occasionally it can take a few months to overcome a confidence crisis. Know that if you are consistent with your confidence boosting techniques, you will eventually find yourself renewed, stronger, and more confident.

Keiko Hsu
Wings for Women

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