Do you find that you’re crazy busy these days? Busier than ever before? Stressed out? You’re not alone. We’re trying to get all our higher-than-normal work commitments done before year-end, while preparing for a busier-than-usual holiday season … and things just don’t seem to be going according to our well-laid plans. To top it off, we’re barraged by social media and emails that seem to be more voluminous now than ever before. It’s amazing that you’re even taking the time to read this message! 🙂
During this year-end madness, it’s common for us to encounter setbacks, or what I often refer to as “speed bumps.” It’s important to realize that we can’t control anything or anyone else, and that we create a lot of disappointment and frustration (as well as waste a lot of our precious energy) when we try.
How you react to what happens is what will make the greatest difference for you, both personally and professionally. Your resilience is what gives you the ability to get back up after you have been knocked down – even after the second and third rounds of having your plans pummeled.
If you find yourself running into “speed bumps” or setbacks, and you think your bounce-back ability can use an upgrade, follow these 6 tips:
1) Remember You Have a Choice
Begin to look at how resilient you are in everyday occurrences. Do you let snarled traffic, a rude comment, a delayed plane, a spilled cup of coffee, or a disappointing conversation ruin your whole day, or do you consciously choose to bounce right back? We don’t always have a choice in what happens to us, but we always have a choice about how we react to it.
2) Get It Out
Talk it out with a coach or friend, write it out in your journal, cry it out on your couch, or sweat it out in the gym. Do whatever it takes to purge yourself of the emotions you feel over this setback. The bigger the setback, the longer it takes – and the more emotion you have to purge. Once you’re in touch with those feelings, work on releasing them. A sense of closure or completion, which eventually leads to peace, is necessary in order to move forward.
3) Find the Lesson
Setbacks serve. They bring with them lessons about you, about life, and about relationships. When a setback erupts in your path, don’t let your Gremlin (your Inner Critic) stop you or beat you up. Instead, look for the lesson. Learning the lessons that your setbacks deliver to you is one of the ways you build your resilience. Prepare yourself for the next surprise by learning something from this one.
4) Call On Past Successes
Sometimes your setback might seem too much to handle. There may be times you find it hard to go on, especially after a career setback or a significant personal loss of a relationship or a loved one. To help yourself bounce back during such difficult times, think about other challenges that you have faced in your lifetime. Think about how you dealt with them, and how you came through them. What worked for you at those times? Was it taking a self-reflecting retreat or vacation, talking to a counselor or coach, attending a personal growth workshop, or joining a support group? Whatever it was, ask yourself if it’s time to do it again.
5) Get Rejuvenated
Self-nurturing, the time spent rejuvenating your energy and replenishing your spirit, is more important after a setback than at any other time. Go get a massage, take a meditation class, soak in a bubble bath, or call an old friend. Make taking care of yourself a high priority. It will ensure that you bounce back faster.
6) Invest in Your Future
Think about what you’d like to change in your life. Do you want to uplevel your career? Start a business? Find a new special relationship? Create a new beginning? There’s no better time than now to reflect upon your life and set/embark on a new path. Consider hiring a personal coach to help you make changes in your career, business, relationships, or to improve the quality of your life. For a complimentary consultation, go to http://wingsforwomen.net/consultation-request-form.
If you’re in the SF Bay Area and of the boomer generation, we invite you to register to attend our “New Beginnings for Women: Creating the Career & Life You Want After 50” Workshop. Whether you are transitioning to a new career, re-envisioning the one you have, re-entering the workforce or wanting to discover something totally new, this 3-part small group workshop will help you launch a new beginning after age 50! Thursday evenings Jan 23, Feb 6, and Feb 20 OR Tuesday evenings Feb 4, Feb 11, and Feb 18 in downtown San Francisco. Take advantage of the Very Early Bird discounted price if you register by December 31, 2013.
Your ability to be resilient will keep you successful and content over the long haul of your life. Take just one of these 6 tips to start with, then add another and another until resilient responses become second-nature to you, and you will find that resilience is now an integral part of who you are.
Wings for Women